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April's fool 2006
Even though it is not exactly April fool’s day, VJC decided to celebrate this event a day in advance. The day was started off by arriving to school and witnessing the effects of some Victorians who took the liberty to sneak into our classrooms and re-arrange our furniture and other little items that can be found in our class like the guitar for example.
The student councils of course made the extra effort to portray their level of creativity in coming up with the most out of the world “pranks” or jokes like free circumcision for able bodied men. Oh but the freaky part of the whole assembly was this year one guy from lynx who was talking really loudly about how everything was an April fool’s joke, drawing what I would call unwanted attention to himself.
Amusing ourselves throughout the day by switching our classrooms for every subject that we had, I believe the teachers would come to fear the future April fool’s days to come. What with all the headaches of keeping track of which classes their students are in at that point of time and whether or not their students will be playing a prank on them or not. Personally, the coolest part of it all was the fact that the teachers were actually magnanimous enough to accept the immaturity of our fun and let it go. If it were the days back in Dunman high, I bet the teachers will blow a fuse and the whole school will be punished or something.
The back of 05V12’s wall has finally been unveiled. Feel free to go and look at it, laugh at the hideousness of the class people but keep the saliva in your mouth and refrain from getting any of it onto the pictures.
My brother was just telling me about taking over two of his primary school students and teaching them tuition once his school term starts and he would be incapable of taking on so many students. Haha, the very thought of actually tutoring scares me. However, I feel confident in my E-Mathematics knowledge to hopefully be able to actually help one of the students for this year’s PSLE? Besides it is just primary school mathematics. I mean god, how hard can it be? Nothing has been confirmed yet, but it would be nice to of course have like some extra money every month to like spend or save up. Haha, the idea of it all is quite nice actually. Hopefully when I do take up one of the students, my time management would be good enough to actually manage both school work and tutoring. We shall see I suppose.
farcical-rants - 10:44 pm - Friday, March 31, 2006
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Death
Heave a sigh of relief everyone! The language arts test is, at long last, over. Oh my god, I didn’t even finish the damn bloody paper and had to hurry to add in a few more points for my application question. What the hell is anti-classicist? Bah, I don’t recall coming across the word before. Oh well, what’s done is done I suppose. Haha, now I can put that behind me and move on. No use crying over spilt milk like they always say.
There was this self discovery session that Mr. Chew conducted for the volleyball guys yesterday. In some way I wonder to myself, if it were to be conducted with a different group of people, would the results be the same, better or worse? Personally speaking, I wouldn’t really mind if it were the same or worse. Of course it would always be good to have it better. I live for myself and the ones I love, not for the country, the continent or the world. I think I have lived life in the way that I most enjoy myself in. Even though I don’t or won’t impact many people, I would die a contented, satisfied person because my goal in life isn’t to be self sacrificial all the time but to live life the way I want to. I can just drop dead now and actually be able to go with no regrets. At the same time, the whole thing about dropping dead and not being to tell your loved ones your last words before you leave makes a lot of sense, it would be the one thing that I would regret if I didn’t do before I drop dead and kick the bucket.
In no order of merit.
Decade long 姐妹Cindy and Aaron.
Where do I begin? First and foremost, I must say that it would be reasonably hard for people to even keep in contact for such an extensive period of time. Even though Cindy has, to some extent, drifted away, being in DHP and all, I still believe that the bond between the three of us is strong. I mean, we can actually meet up and start bitching and crapping about anything under the sun, as if we just met each other just the other day. The ease and comfort in striking a conversation is executed so naturally that it doesn’t amaze me why we have been friends all this years. My message to you guys is that if I were to die and to go to heaven, I will make sure I bless all of you with good fortune in your career, love life, family, friends, financial status, education and whatever else things I may have left out. Of course I don’t believe I will go to heaven, if there even is one. So if I do go to hell, make sure to give me offerings when 七月 comes. And when you die and do go to hell with me, let’s haunt the world together! Haha.
My other 姐妹.
Haha, you guys have made quite a big impact in my life as well. Suddenly I am at a lost for words. I guess I would have to thank you guys for all the times we shared together and the support and company you all lend whenever I need it. We also shared quite a lot of experiences together, be it the 6.7 and 5.7 performances in primary school or all the times we spent playing that childish and retarded game of 2-4 during our recess periods in the canteen. All the fun times we had going out together, taking the silly neo prints, shopping, being mean bitches and basically just being ourselves.
Edsh!ne.
Dear me, I can’t even begin to say how much I miss this CCA. You guys are the bunch of craziest, most creative, most spontaneous and most talented people I have come across in a CCA. Honestly, if I can go back for EDS even though I have been in VJ for a year now, I would. I will miss all the times we had playing captains ball, volleyball and basketball after CCA, skipping CCA to go to bugis or orchard together. I will also miss the times where we would go to Kampong Arang after CCA to eat and fatten ourselves with the fast-food restaurants there, pissing off the other customers and the outlet manager at the same time. Furthermore, I will miss the bitching sessions we will have of the weird instructors that Mr. Ken will hire for us. In addition, I will also miss all the lame EDS sessions we have with Mr. Ken, doing weird drama practices like performing little skits and laughing at the ridiculousness of one another, all the plays we put up and all the anxiety we had before EDS night and the weird GEP opening that we had to perform for the other time. Besides the drama bit of it, I will miss the dance practices and performances that we had even more! I can’t even begin to lament about how much I miss dance. Here in VJ, dance for guys is like so limited that I can’t even be bothered to join. I will miss all the training sessions we had and how we would slack off to the canteen to get food and drinks, than sneaking the food back to the wall-less classroom or the D and D room to eat, how we would use our spectacles to plug in the god damn CD player and how we would get excited about our costumes and when we are auditioning to perform on teachers day. Last but not least, I will miss the people.
DHS.VJC cuckoos.
You 7 bitches know who you are, I rather not state just in case my delusional state of being an elephant shows and I leave out some people. I think that without some of you guys to be there for me in the beginning, I would have gone nuts with the whole cliques issue and there being the super irritating bunch of hot headed retards that I rather not state just in case I set off some sort of Tristan opposition party. Even though you are the bunch of people that I have ever known to have so much conflict between a group of friend and there being so much weird stuff that I have never even thought of talking about, I must say you guys made one of the biggest impact to my life. I think I matured rather quickly when I got to actually know you guys. In fact, it made me learn more about myself and I guess that under some sort of influence, I am what I am today because of a bit of what you guys directly or indirectly do, be it negative or positive. It may actually be weird for me to be writing this because I think you guys will probably die before I do. Haha.
DHS.2I.Friends.
This is going out to those that I can actually get along with in 2I without me having the urge to whip out a fork and viciously stab them all to death before I take their mangled corpses and hang them on the halls of DHS as trophies of my accomplishment in ridding the world of pure evil. You guys were the ones who spent the days of adolescence with me, running around the school, forming an annoying clique that could bitch slap the world, allowing me to have a group of friends to fall back on when I was in school. You guys were the one who toiled over doing projects that we never wanted in the beginning and you guys were the ones who shared all the hardships and sufferings that we had to go through in those two years in DHS.
Ohfiveveeonetu.
My wonderful civic class, honestly this is probably the most united class I have been in. I can’t say much about my primary school class because we were all young and immature than, but my secondary school class was filled with mid-life crisis every other day and melodrama sessions that would be held on a weekly basis. I think I’ve grown quite a lot with this class too. I finally realized that if I can’t be accepted for who I am, than screw them. It is the class in which we go through the hell of IP together, in which we suffer under the teachers together, in which we bitch about the teachers we cannot stand together, in which we bitch about how we are sometimes ostracized by the school together. This is the class in which we can be unified when needed to, put aside our difference to a certain extent and actually be mature enough to handle most situations.
House committee 2005.2006.
Another wacky bunch of people that made life in VJC more colourful. Even though the IPs aren’t incorporated into some of the activities of the JC students, most of you guys still make an effort to get us involved in house issues most of the times. And even though I have been quite slack for the past year, I have decided to be more enthusiastic about house committee this year. The fun sleepovers we had in school, preparation for live ads and organizing and carrying out of major stuff like sports day or open house or even orientation.
Volleyball team
As much as I assume/know that most of you either hate/look down on/can’t be bothered by me due to my lack of skills or inability to fit in with some of the guys, I guess I would have to say that training with you all has been an experience. I guess we went through quite a lot together too, even though I hardly felt like part of it sometimes, I still experienced the few same things whether deliberately or not deliberately. Hopefully you guys can achieve the goal you all set out to attain.
Other friends that I have made and that do not belong to any of the above mentioned groups.
Thanks for being there and accepting me the way I am, be it a mean fucking bitch or a supposed attention whore or a fat piece of lump that is hideous but at the same time to big to miss.
Haha, I guess I shall end this entry here because all the rest of the things that I planned to blog about today seemed to have fallen out of my head when I was doing my list of things to say before I drop dead.
farcical-rants - 7:07 pm -
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Fight against school blues
I got to miss school again on Tuesday due to an over excess of water in my faeces with reasons that I am just too inadequate in the medical field to answer myself. Haha.
It’s been an extremely long time since my last blog entry. Okay, I know some blogggers out there can have break intervals of like three weeks and more between their entries, but for me, not blogging for three days or more is considered a long time. Haha. I guess school is starting to suck the soul out of me and I am just too deadbeat when I return to my sweet abode everyday to even think about blogging. Hell, I am not even doing my homework like I planned in term one. Things were going as I planned in the beginning, but it started to slowly pile up and in the end I just chose the lazy way out. Haha, now that I have done a sort of self discovery thing, I guess I will make an attempt to do my homework more conscientiously.
In remedy to attain some soul to replace that which the school has sucked out of me, we decided to have a sleepover at Darren’s house on Friday. I can’t even remember the last time we had a sleepover and this sleepover was probably a much awaited and needed one for everybody to just chill, hang out and gossip. Haha.
Somehow, through the screwed communication system we have, we ended up meeting really late at night, like at 10.30 or something. My dad gave me a lift to east point and sent me off only after his sounding lecture about not having sex and being worried about what we kids may be doing. Oo. The group of us gathered outside cheers. I followed Audrey and Yvonne into Starbucks to get Yu Hui an oreo cheesecake to celebrate her birthday. If anyone is wondering why we were standing outside cheers for god knows what reasons, it was because of two reasons. Firstly, most if not all the shops in east point had already closed for the day; hence we would have no where else to go but the two remaining shops that were namely Starbucks and Cheers. Secondly, Nicole and Yu Hui had brilliantly decided on buying two tubs of ice cream before we even met up to go to Darren’s house and to stop it from any further melting, they put the ice creams into the ice container.
Hopefully no one reported to the police about a group of teenagers being out of their homes near eleven at night, standing outside cheers for what may seem to be for dubious reasons. After waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting, we finally got a call from Darren that he was reaching his house and we started to make our way to his house. The humidity during that night was intense. By the time I reached his doorstep, I felt like I just came out of the shower or something.
Immediately once we entered his house, we were mothered into the room in the top storey so as to keep our voices contained in the room or at least try to. We were feasting on KFC which Audrey’s generous mother had bought for us just to celebrate Yu Hui’s birthday. Such a nice feeling, stuff our faces with greasy fried and fattening chicken at night with friends by your side, stuffing their faces with you too. Haha. The mood seemed to be deteriorating so to clarify, my sudden outburst to liven the mood should not be mistaken as a sign of craziness. Haha. I was completely sane and not at all drunk like what other people claimed. Do not believe what you read on other blogs or hear from other sources people, this is coming from the horse’s mouth and I’m not crazy!!! Haha.
I’ve always said my thunder thighs were a hindrance and when I was leaning over to get my phone out of my bag, my thigh pressed down on a tub of whipped potato, causing the gravy to ooze out onto Darren’s “new” rug. Freaking out with a major bitch fit, I quickly tried my hand in removing the grease stain. After a lot of water being added and soap being poured, the particles managed to separate and a few swift movements of the hand got the stain right out in a couple of minutes. Yay! It was definitely a night of spills. During a nail painting session, which basically only involved Amanda and Yu Hui trying to be angst and colouring their toe nails black, the two bimbos managed to get black nail polish on Darren’s rug at least three times. Haha, being the ever resourceful people that we are, Nicole whipped out some alcohol that she had bought to clean her ear hole with to try and dissolve the nail polish.
During one of the many bridge games that were going one, I decided to start cam whoring as Nicole calls it. Since pictures are said to be worth a thousand words, I shall present some for you guys to see, tease and bitch about. Haha.
The day’s training must have taken some toll on me and I fell asleep while watching monster in law. I crawled upstairs to the air conditioned room to find some scandalous thing which I shall give the benefit of the doubt to. Before I knew it, I was out like a rock.
When I got up the next day, to drag my ass to the toilet to pee, I realized that the two couples had left and yy had also left for training I think. After lazing around and sluggishly getting ready to leave, we managed to get ourselves out of the house by nine plus. We visited burger king to fill our stomachs with more fattening food because it would seem that the KFC we had the night before wasn’t enough. Haha. Yu Hui had to leave because she was expected at home and Audrey went home when we were on our way to orchard.
Another thing that I have rediscovered after a long time was DDR! Haha it was so fun playing all over again. There was this really eccentric guy behind us dancing spastically along when we were playing. It was quite freaky. Oh and I forgot to mention, yi xiang and Yvonne came with us to orchard because their D.I was cancelled at the very last minute, something I don’t find surprising at all. Haha, okay, I’m being a mean bitch. When we exhausted some of our cash on DDR, I suggested a walk to Fareast.
There wasn’t really much there for guys to buy because the shops mainly catered for females. However, even when some things caught my attention, I was economically deprived at the moment and had to just bear with window shopping. Lunch was something that took quite long to decide, after being wishy washy for quite some time, we decided to stay and Fareast and eat whatever that was around by the i-guess-you-can-call-it benches. We further combed the other three storeys of Fareast before we made our way to takashimaya to eat Mac Donalds. It was getting late and I guess we left soon after.
However, somewhere along the way, Darren, Yvonne and I decided to meet up with Audrey since she just finished her friendly match. We met up at tampinese mall where Darren decided to go cut his hair while we were waiting for Audrey to come. He went to cut his hair at storm which is located at century square. Haha, it was quite cool considering that celebrities supposedly cut their hair there and I have never been in that salon before. I think the most hilarious part was when the lady cutting Darren’s hair went to spike it for him. Haha, Darren’s looks better without spiked hair but he could still pull of the spiked hair look. I managed to get him to take a picture with me before he could run off to the toilet to wash off the wax. Sadly, he forbade me to post the picture of his face. Oh, but he didn’t mention anything about posting a picture of his hair.
In a last minute decision, we decided to watch failure to launch. Haha, the movie was a nice one. It was like comedy cum love show at the same time and there was this nude scene featuring an old man’s butt. I never knew Sarah Jessica parker could act since the only show in which she acts in that I know of is sex in the city and Singapore has yet to screen that show. The movie ended quite late so I got my dad to fetch me home.
Sunday was another fun day, I suppose. I got out of the house at the most perfect moment, when the rain started come down like a bitch. As a result, I was drenched rather thoroughly. Met up at Amanda’s house where Darren and I entertained ourselves with some lame computer game than her sister found online. Audrey and Yvonne came sometime after and we got to play volley for a while. Of course, our game was interrupted when this cranky old man, who decided to park his car extremely close to us for some strange reason. He got out of the car and the first thing he said to us was, want me to call town council? I just rolled my eyes and said “we play somewhere else la!” in a way that hopefully stressed my annoyance in every possible word. When we run into adults who enjoy exerting their chronological power on youths, we should just reply rudely, make a snide remark and stomp off without even bothering about what else he has to say. I will just leave it at that before I further lengthen this part of the entry to a bitch post about adults. Don’t even get me started.
We moved to the badminton court nearby and played till about 7.00 before we made our way to tampinese for dinner. It was more chatting before we left for home.
I seem to be on a roll with blogging today so I shall blog about today and post some super long entry to make up for my lack of posts the past few days. I think the only lesson I want to blog about for today is biology. Haha, we conducted this experiment in which we were to find out how long it will take for leaf disc to rise in a solution of NaHCO3 or water when exposed to light and other different factors. I shall leave you all with some pictures before signing off. Till next time than! =)
farcical-rants - 8:39 pm - Monday, March 27, 2006
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School Blues
I haven’t been updating as regularly as I used too, or even not updating about as out of the ordinary stuff as I used to. Do you all want to know why? It’s because the holidays have ended and the start of a new term has dawned upon us yet again. The very first day of the term had a portentous black cloud lingering over it which had the words of whatever thing negative written all over it. It was as though it was a sign for us to quit school or something. The irony of it all was that the skies over VJC were dark and the skies over the houses nearby were clear, with the sun beating mercilessly down on poor us, causing my taxi taking expedition home with Si Hui. But that’s beside the point. Even heaven rained down on us today, the first time since god knows how many weeks ago. The torrential rain, yet another metaphorical symbol, that may be some sort of message to tell us to just stay at home. Someone up there is in all probability crying because of all the “suffering” we will be/are going through.
Seriously, what a way to start the term, with the bloody shit load of work that is due and tests on the following two days, it’s a wonder no one is falling ill or something. Even as I blog right now, I still have my Language Arts Essay that is yet to be completed. I finally got down to doing some pathetic research and structuring of how to pen down my essay. Of course, the actual act of formulating/typing/printing it out will take place tomorrow. Fortunately tomorrow is one of the shorter days, giving me time to rush home to spend the rest of the day working on the effing essay.
It’s becoming an escalating dread to bring myself to want to go school each day. In the past, there were still the people in school to look forward to. Yet recently, it seems the overall bad aura emitted by the school is over-powering that of the people that are actually making me want to go to school. If it weren’t for the crazy, weird but fun-loving bunch of people out there, I would probably have dropped out of school eons ago. Okay, hyperbole here, but if truth be told, I can’t thank my friends enough. I guess it’s you guys that make school tolerable. So here’s a shout out to my classmates and fellow comrades (haha, the comrade comment will probably raise a few eyebrows) out there, you know who you are. A big thank you to all you guys and gals (hah! I’m not sexist). Haha, that was rather a spur of the moment act, but hey, it’s always good to take time to appreciate certain things in life.
All of that aside, I shall talk about today’s sports day heats. Haha, I got first again. (8.41m okay! Haha broke my own record that I started last year.) Hopefully I didn’t come off as some sort of egocentric, pesky show off wannabe with an ever inflating head that will sooner or later explode/implode. It’s always hard to want to express my happiness but at the same time not wanting to look as if I am flaunting my strength or whatever. It was a pleasant surprise to win, seeing that I was expecting other people to do better than me this year. There were definitely lesser people last year and there are a lot more strong people taking part this year. Truth be told, it wasn’t even my strength that allowed me to win, it was my immense mass. Oh well, at least the obese/over weight slab of useless fat lump is finally put to good use. Bah, I better stop obsessing over this issue before I really become some unbearable, do I dare say it, [no, I do not dare to say it so fill in the blanks yourself. ><’’ ].
I’m feeling relatively tired so I guess I’ll make this entry a short one and go back to my sty for the night. Fuck, I think I lost my pipette filler and spoilt Nicole’s one. Damn. Is it some sign to drop chemistry or something? Maybe I should stop reading so much into things. ><’’
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Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be takingI should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go
farcical-rants - 11:07 pm - Tuesday, March 21, 2006
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There is no 'I' in Team
Oh dear, school is bloody reopening tomorrow and I am indulging in my usual slacking before school reopens routine. I feel so lazy and lethargic and I can’t even be bothered to go downstairs to get a class of water. I just feel like sitting in front of my computer and just keep typing away until I just die or something. Thinking back, I miss diary-x. I have a lot of things to bitch-fuck about that I feel unsafe to post here. Oh well, at least there’s still the saving as a draft action to resort to.
Anyhow, due to the sad, dull and depressing life I have been leading, I shall resort to blogging about mundane stuff that you all will probably not be interested in. ANOTHER friendly match on Saturday against JJC. VJC won without breaking much of a sweat supposedly. I never knew that a group of boys/men could cheer so loudly that they sound like chickens. Haha. Aaron was commenting about how they should become CJC instead. Chicken junior college. As mean as that may sound, it’s true. Their cheering was shrill and high pitched that they were probably scoring points with the psychological and mental torment they would be inflicting with the sounds waves they send out.
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I’m rather enjoying my positive outlook of things nowadays. At least I’m not being some egotistical jerk/slut who lives in his/her own world of delusional confidence and who doesn’t understand what a [inserts collective noun here] really means. The devil in me just wishes that one of the [inserts number here] would just break his/her neck/leg/arm/back and I would just indulge in my sadistic satisfaction of watching them scramble to get back on their toes. Seriously, if he/she thinks that they are all that, that by all means jolly well just sent the group off and while in the midst of trying to attain whatever shit achievements they aim for, something props up and they have no one else to fall back on. Let’s see if he/she will finally realize that it’s not always about the soldiers at the head of the pack that matters, but those backing them up also count. Honestly, could you be more self-centered? Sheesh.
Haha, I just managed to tone down my bitching that I initially wanted to save as a draft. Hopefully it’s evasive enough for all of you out there to NOT understand. Some people may get it though, and if you do get it, good for you.
Ps. Yes, I am blogging for blogging sake. ><
farcical-rants - 4:03 pm - Sunday, March 19, 2006
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House committee 06
Being the nocturnally active person that I am, I shall blog at 1.00 in the morning because I can’t sleep. Why? Because I just came across a Britney spears video and the haunting image of her just keeps me awake, so that I won’t have nightmares or something.
Anyway, house committee camp is over and done with. It was not as fun as I anticipated, maybe because I was expecting more from this year than last year. But hey, no complaints from me, it was still fun to go to.
Dragged my sorry ass to school in the morning, being the good boy that I am, and I was on time okay! Everyone else was late and I just sat around with a bunch of nominees, Jenn Haur and Jac. Things were pretty quiet for a while, because we were yet to be acquainted. Haha, but soon enough, when everybody had arrived and all the admin stuff had been settled, we moved to the space outside the performance theatre for a round of ice breakers.
I can’t believe the slow reaction that I posses, leading to a penalty of doing the mash potato with Li Qin. I just discovered some hidden flaw. Oo. Haha, at least it wouldn’t be as weird since she is like my EDS dance senior and all. Thankfully, I got the hang of the bang game quite fast and managed to evade the next round of penalties. It only took us about two rounds of ice breakers before we were well acquainted enough to break off to our individual houses to have a round of introduction. There were cheers to come up with and to be presented. I think we had a good cheer going, probably just lacked the practice in carrying it out. Haha, in the end Pegasus and Lynx won the cheer “competition” and had to perform it in front of the “three houses” while being water bombed at the same time.
There was some sort of weird captain’s ball cum dodge ball game merged into one that we had to play. Oh but before that, people of Lynx and Draco went to take photos for this year’s house nominee’s badge. So exciting! The caplets didn’t get one last year so I requested for one this year since CT and SC ip get badges too. As usual, crazy poses had to be thought of and I decided to go with the America’s next top model pose with a Toyota nissan sunny. Hopefully I got the brand of the car right. >< 
I stood in the sun for a while, subsequent to getting dumped with buckets of water by Jia ying and Yue woon, to dry off since I had to go to some SHSS friendly match later in the afternoon. Met Wai Kin at the bus stop and went with him and some others to tampinese to take a bus together. The match was an interesting one, one with a lot to learn from I guess. The opponent was indeed damn bloody strong but again, what Mr. Chew said is correct, it’s not the end result that is important, but the lessons that you take away. Of course, I didn’t take away anything, haha, but it must have been an experience for the main team.
Devoured down a quick lunch at tampinese mall before taking a bus back to school to re join the house committee people. They had just come back from the beach with dubious looking blobs of brown stuff all over them. It turned out to be peanut butter, and it was everywhere. On people’s hair, shirts, faces and other places I’d rather not find out. Haha. We had dinner by the fountain at parkway and I didn’t really eat much, except a hot fudge sundae, because I just had lunch before I went back to school. The juniors, ip1s, and I were basically just bitching about teachers over dinner. HAH! It’s unanimous, no one likes Mr. Lee.
Some shopping at giant for last minute hunger pangs at night before we set back for school. There was a lot of slacking done in the canteen and at the grandstand. Haha, the super women of house committee went to dunk Andy at the fountain. The most hilarious part was that it wasn’t even his birthday and they were singing happy birthday while carrying him to be dunked. Lol.
Ghost stories were shared at the grandstand before we proceeded to watch a horror movie at T16. The movie was stupidly boring. I fell asleep at some point of time and woke up when the ghost was dancing toward some guy. -.-‘’
The movie was stopped halfway and Jia Ying and I got the year ones together for the night walk. Boy was it a task to get them settled down man, and the worse best part was that they were still chatting away when Jia Ying was giving instructions. Sigh. It was almost an hour later when everyone had completed their walk and we could finally clean up. There were a few more video screening before I just plopped off to sleep.
Woke up the next day at nine in the morning and went to wash up at the canteen toilet. I think I gobbled down like 6-7 slices of bread because I was starving. How stupid of me not to buy anything when I clearly skipped dinner. I could have just slapped myself. Captain’s ball and floor ball were played before it was house stall and den clean up. I was with Clarissa and Emily cleaning the mat in the house den. The thing was effing dirty and it was extremely hard to clean! I switched with some year one after going through like half the stack, my fingers gone and in place of them were white prunes.
It was more lazing around after that before I left with the caplets for parkway. We were actually suppose to go to the food court to meet some of the others who were already there, but I decided not too because it was hot and crowded. So I went with Althea, Bernice and Cynthia to parkway food court. We ate, talked and went back to school to wait for Althea’s mom to send us home. Once I got home, I showered and slept immediately without even eating. Dead beat I tell you. I slept at five in the evening for crying out loud.
I woke up the next day at 6.00 in the morning and was rushing around getting ready to go for some field trip that my elective had. I was late, as usual and had to take a cab with YY to waterloo, Sri Krishnan temple. The day was totally wasted in my opinion, I had better things to do than go to temples and synagogues and what nots. The choice of elective was a bad one for me, shucks. I thought it would just be on going debate about religion, but I mis interpreted pluralistic wrongly. Damn, I know I’m stupid.
In my opinion, the tour guide talked too much. Argh, I was losing my patience while she was talking and I could consciously feel my fist clenching. I was not in a good mood. When everything was finally over, we went to Toa Payoh bus interchange and had Long Johns for lunch. Not a big fan of the place, but I can live with it. We were basically bitching the whole way through lunch. Die, I developing a lot of bad karma for bitching so much the past few days. Haha. So when Yi Rui suggested going to Swenson for ice cream, and we did, I wrote the thank you card to the waitress who served us. It is the pink and white card that the government recently introduced to help recognize good service in Singapore. Haha. Pathetic attempt to attain some good karma yes? Haha.
Left with the rest after that and took 31 to tampinese. It was a long ride but it didn’t seem that long because we were talking the whole way there. I shall refrain from using the word bitching just to be delusional. ><’’ Got to tampinese and was reluctant to go home. So I wandered tampinese mall with Cheryl and Yi xiang, doing some window shopping and looking at stuff we couldn’t buy because we were broke. Cries* I think I better end the entry here because it’s already one thirty and I have another friendly match tomorrow. Not that I will be playing for sure, but I would like to be wide awake. Haha just had to clarify and not give the facade unlike some people who enjoy portraying that they are in some sort of important sport CCA when they are not. Okay, I’m being a slut again. ><
farcical-rants - 1:47 am - Saturday, March 18, 2006
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Finally, a breather
Before I rush off to pack my bag for tomorrow’s house committee camp, I shall publish a post so that my blog won’t seem stagnant for the next two days. Haha.
Anyway, I finally got to blow off my last few dollars of my birthday money today. Went to bugis market with Audrey, Yu Hui and YY to shop around. We took quite some time before we actually started to roam the streets of bugis market because one to two hours after the supposed meeting time was spent chatting at Mac donalds over ice cream.
I think that I’ve been to bugis market too often for my own good. I should probably change another hot spot to visit and alternate the number of times I go to bugis market and to the new place that I will have to find. Somehow interest in what to buy has died down since the stuff at bugis market seems to be the same since the last time I went and when I went there today. In the end, I only bought a watch from bugis market. It doesn’t really show the time very well, but I guess its more decorative purpose than functional purpose. Haha. Stupid of me not to check the functional purpose of it when I bought it, but oh well, I am still happy with that purchase.
A group of them bought me this Samuel and Kelvin belt that I chose, haha, so I finally have a birthday present from them. The bag that was bought by hazardous queen and max a long time ago is still MIA, lol, so I am still waiting to receive that. I guess that’s about it for my birthday list this year, a bag, a belt and an ear ring that I got from Sam and Nicole. Quite sad ya? Haha, but I still grateful. =) oh, and I nearly forget, a beaded necklace from Clara and Isabelle. Thanks a bunch.
My last purchase of the day would be this purple, yes purple, PMK shirt that YY was gushing over. It was a nice shirt I suppose, a shirt that had the illusion that it was layered. And for those out there who are thinking, “purple?”, don’t worry, its not some disgusting shade, but rather the deep, rich coloured purple, like royal purple if I’m not wrong.
Time was pretty much spent by sitting at our infamous steps by the MRT and eating sushi and old chang kee. Somehow we managed to will off about a half hour by just eating and than we headed home.
There’s going to be ANOTHER friendly match tomorrow against SHSS. The school must be pretty damn strong to have so many other junior colleges want to play against it. The “wonderful” part of it all would be the fact that the friendly match is during camp, which, in other words, means that I would be missing out in some bonding time with the nominees of house committee tomorrow. But I guess it would be good to be present to sort of support the team too. Somehow there’s something tingling inside my head telling me that I am being overly optimistic about stuff, but I’d rather give things the benefit of the doubt at times.
Hopefully the entry wouldn’t come off to seem to [insert poseur’s name]. If you all have any problem guessing who the poseur is, just think of who rants about clothes that he/she buys. ><’’ Till Friday than. Lol.
farcical-rants - 10:55 pm - Tuesday, March 14, 2006
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Volleyball Camp
Pensive mood on the bus ride home: Oh my god, some people are so freaking dim witted that I could just bitch slap them until they die. Where do I even begin? Firstly, Singaporeans should have more brains than to walk straight into me when I am carrying a huge bag from after camp. I took pleasure in walking straight into people and bruising them with my bag when they showed the lack of IQ to just shove off. Oh another thing, I never realized how retarded some people are when it comes to working with household appliances and preparing convenience food. Okay, enough random thoughts.
Phew, I just came back from Volleyball camp. I am in a somewhat melancholic mood right now after the camp has ended. Don’t ask me why I feel like that, even I don’t know. Haha. It was more fun than I predicted it to be. I must thank the lords that there were no circuit training and it was mostly friendly matches or sets that were carried out. Of course the team bonding was somewhat a failure for me, on a personal level, but I think it was successful for most of the team. Surprisingly I’m not bitter about it at all and I’m actually quite happy that at least the team moral is increasing and that most of the people can get along with one another. Sounds so self sacrificial and unlike me yes? But honestly, that’s how I feel right now; the camp must have done something to me. Oo.
It has never occurred to me on how much I want to make the main 12 until now. I presume I was taking things for granted last year when there were only at most 6 or 7 of us, thinking that the chances of being in the main 12 this year would be moderately high. Who would have known that so much talent would make it to VJC, leaving only a few spots left available? For a brief moment, I thought that the hope of making the main 12 was gone since I have like only 5-6 months experience at present, unlike those with 3 years or more. I mean, if they have three years or more experience, they would definitely have better skills etc than me no? However, it has come to my realization that there may actually be one last golden sit left for me. I can’t believe it took me this long to actually notice how something I want is so close and yet so far at the same time; the irony of it all. Therefore, I have decided that I will put in even more effort for future trainings. Whether or not it is too late, I guess time will tell. There isn’t much time left since competition is coming soon. I can’t even emphasize how much I want this. I have never felt more driven.
Now that I’m done with reviewing the things that I have taken away with me from the camp, I shall go on to do the usual re-enactment of what happened during the three days in the form of what else but blogging. Oh dear, I am so lame.
Recollections of the first day were rather frazzled for me. I have a tendency to remember things that happen a few days ago in bits and pieces. Being the self delusional elephant that I claim to be, I forgot what time we were suppose to report in school. In the end, I decided to play it safe and go at 2.00pm, an hour before the friendly match. Haha, I thought I was actually going to be early, but it turns out that there were already quite a handful of people in school, getting ready. The match against MJC was good, I think it was the first time I actually noticed how “high” the team was in terms of cheering. At some point of time, I decided to cheer along and I must say, it was quite fun to let it out when VJ scored. Haha.
There was this particularly idiotic guy from MJC who was an ex-dunmanian. I was enormously turned off at his lack of team work and sportsmanship during the match. He was shouting at his team mate to move here and there and didn’t hesitate to show his frustration when his team mate screwed up. Some people obviously have never heard of encouragement before.
If memory doesn’t fail me, I think we went to have dinner in the canteen after that and had some free time to rest. I went to get some stuff prepared for sleeping at night, like borrowing the nice fluffy cushions from house den. Haha. Dinner was followed up with a friendly match against NTU alumni, Mr. Chew’s ex-team. VJ has definitely got stronger since the match against SRJC. The NTU alumni were clearly a tougher opponent as compared to SRJC and if I’m not wrong, we won NTU.
We had a bit of time to kill after we washed up. We went to 7-11 to get some snacks before making it back to our bunk, which by the way was at V48! Out of the god knows how many classrooms in the school and we had to get the one on the highest level. Oo Basically, everyone played Indian poker in the bunk and the person who lost had to do a double truth. Hmm, a lot of interesting, horny and scandalous secrets shared. Haha. Things got boring after lights out. People broke off to their small groups and were whispering amongst themselves, so Aaron and I left the bunk because I was wary of the fact that I can’t really whisper and assumed that some people were asleep. We gave those crazy people at EDS camp a call. Things seemed to be going really smoothly for them. Damn, I wish I could have gone for that camp too. It’s going to be a whole other year before there would be another EDS camp to go to. The call to the EDS people brought back many happy memories for Aaron and me. We were trying to recall all the dances move of the different dances we had. Haha, if anyone were to pass by than, we would have looked like spastic morons making complete fools of ourselves. Then again, we were the only people in school than, so it didn’t matter. We also took turns to serenade the crows around. Haha, now that I think back, people would have been really spooked if they were alone in the school and heard us sing.
That was day one, day two started with training in the morning and a set against the VJC old boys. I don’t really know why, I but have serious issues with Jimmy. I can’t even be bothered to begin, so I shan’t. All I am hoping now is that during house committee camp, he has to return to the army and can’t make it back to attend.
In any case, it was more free time ,after training, that Aaron, Darren and I killed by having lunch in school, going to 7-11 and playing a bit of volleyball when the girls were training. There was a friendly match against VJC alumni subsequent to that. The team is strong and according to Mr. Chew, his team got 3rd in his year. I can only imagine how powerful the champion must have been. Oo. I believe they play regularly, judging by how good they still are, even after so many years. I’m guessing their 30? VJC won and it was a much needed victory in a sense that it really brought the team moral to a whole new level. Oh and I before I forget, we had a friendly match against the girls after the VJC alumni match. Haha, actually there isn’t much to blog about the match against the girls.
We showered and went to parkway for dinner. The group split up into two, fast food and hawker center because the food court was too crowded to accommodate all of us. It was around this time when my abrasion started to really kick in. It hurt like fuck and I had an extremely hard time just walking or standing up. What’s worse was that when we left parkway, we had to climb the overhead bridge twice! Cries* Thankfully, Mr. Chew had some Aloe Vera cum Cucumber moisturizer that I borrowed to apply. The rest of the night was spent watching the video of some of VJC alumni match and the MJC match in the English resource room. I sense that I feel asleep at some point of time. ><. I had a few games of bridge in the bunk before bedtime before I called it a day and dozed off.
There was some training on the third day before the match against IJC. There was a four hour break after training, but we wasted one hour of it relaxing on the stage. We wasted another one hour showering. Aaron and I decided to go to bugis to have lunch since we had so much time. However, 197 took too long to come and too long to reach bugis. By the time we reached bugis, it was already three, and we had to be back at school by four. So we ended up eating Mac and rushing back to school on train. How brilliant can we get? The last match against IJC was interesting. The team, in my opinion, wasn’t very good. It was just because they had two or three really good players who were helping to score points. I managed to play a bit after that, and this was the first time I had statistics. Haha. I got a negative two. Haha. And that was just for one set, if Aaron were to have recorded the second set, I would probably have a bigger negative number considering on how I screwed up on many occasions.
Camp was finally broken after we did some cooling down exercise and moved everything back to place. Had dinner at tampinese mall with Aaron before we went home. I guess we don’t really belong with the team, judging by the fact that nobody really wants us to go with them for dinner and I predict that even if we do go, it will just be the two of us talking to ourselves. Haha, I guess we are just too weird for them to accept. It kind of sucks in a sense, but I can live with it.
Now that I reflect back, I do think that the team really does stand a chance of going far this year. Their aim to reach top 3 or more maywill actually be achieved. Haha. I believe that VJC can make it! 来VJ whoosh!
farcical-rants - 9:24 am -
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Time is not of the essences
Okay, I am currently in the computer lab blogging. How sad can life get? This is like the first time ever that I am actually freaking blogging in school. Anyone curious at all to find out the reason why I have to entertain myself with such form of amusement in school?
Well, make a wild guess. If the hideously ugly word, training, pops into mind, you just hit the nail on the head. Argh, why do they have to put it at 5.00pm?! Now I have another hour to waste before I have to expose myself to physical and mental turmoil.
I knew I should have brought my physics stuff to revise for tomorrow’s test. But oh no, I brilliantly left them at home rotting, assuming that I probably wouldn’t have the time to do it in school today since I have other tests to do. Bloody hell, I should have brought it, revised and just get it over and done with. Now I have to spend time after school tomorrow to do it, just when the break has started. Damn smart.
Okay, the past two paragraphs have just taken up about five minutes of my hour of wasting time. Hopefully I can sustain an entry long enough to let me kill of half an hour, before I even attempt to try to find something more worthy to kill my time. Of course, by using the word worthy here, I mean homework. Bah, I have to find some way or another to do that stupid chemistry tasks that I was planning on copying. Oops, did I just say that, I meant planning to refer to. Oh and before I forget, there is the ghastly Chinese homework that is due god knows when. Hopefully after tomorrow I can take a short breather before the holidays start.
Speaking of holidays, I shall review to myself, for boredom sake, what would be happening during the holidays. Yes, something else that isn’t very substantial that I can type to kill some time. Let’s see, there is the weirdly dreaded but at the same time anticipated volleyball camp. It’s probably weird to be dreading and anticipating something at the same time, but yes, that is my view on that camp. I hope there wouldn’t be torturous circuit training that would leave us half dead by the end of the three day camp. Than again, I could never picture myself looking half as thin as a prisoner of war, so I guess I will survive. After that, I will be having house committee camp. Yay! That for one is something that I am anticipating. I’m not really sure when it is yet, since it is still tentative, but it’s either on Tuesday and Wednesday, or on Wednesday and Thursday. If it happens to be on the latter, that means my Tuesday would be free. Haha, I guess I will plan on what to do with it when the day is actually arriving. Oo. There is supposedly a friendly match on Thursday and/or Friday. I hope there isn’t one on Thursday cause I made a deal with Isabelle and the rest to pay a visit to sakae that day. Haha. What gluttons yes? Than there is the wonderful weekends left to catch up on whatever shit work that would be issued to us. I have a prediction that the workload will be “surprisingly” dropped onto poor us tomorrow. Teachers are so predictable in a sense.
Oh, who would have knew that blogging about what I would be going to do during the holidays just killed 10 extra minutes. That jut leaves another fifteen minutes to go. My brain seems to have gone into diastole. I hope I used the correct word. I am just going to go on typing, on and on, because I just like the feelings of my fingers moving and punching the keys on the keyboard.
Oh my god, three overzealous 06V11 girls just came crashing into the computer lab. They seem to be in some sort of frenzy, I can only imagine what they must be hurrying. Probably some overdue homework or project proposal or script. Or would it be unfair of me to stereotype the IP1s just based on my perception of most IP2s. Haha, I heard from a source which origin I either don’t know or can’t remember that IP1s are supposedly more studious than IP2s. We are the guinea pig batch you know, so I guess, the IP1s are working off what we have suffered for not being diligent.
I wonder if there is anyone in class now, everyone from my class has either their research module to work on, gone off to some shopping center since they have no more tests to worry about or went for their trainings which have been brilliantly scheduled at an earlier time slot.
Damn, I seem to have really run out of things to rant about. Shucks, now I am looking like some moron, staring blankly into the word document and not typing anything. Okay, by typing that previous sentence meant that I was actually typing something, but you get what I mean.
Bloody hell, I still have about five minutes left, but seeing as how my brain juice has seemingly evaporated, I shall stop here and leave you all with the rather random entry that has just spewed out.
farcical-rants - 4:25 pm - Thursday, March 09, 2006
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Migraine
I’ve been thinking about the “anonymous” person who has been plaguing my tag board for the past two days. If it is really who I think it is, he/she has really shocked me. I would never expect someone like he/she to do such an infantile thing. In fact, if it is who I think it is who is tagging my board, I really don’t know why he/she is having such a big reaction to whatever I have done/said. That is if it is what I assume that I have done/said. It would seem like he/she is making a mountain out of a mole hill. Notice the over usage of qualifiers here, that’s because I not 100% certain of who it is anymore. I guess all I can say is, let it go? If he/she chooses not to, than there is nothing I can do about it I suppose. Or maybe I can just advice the person not to come here because if he/she doesn’t like the fact that I use words like bitches, than he/she should refer to the right side of the blog and leave. ------------------------------
I missed school again. I think it is like the fourth or fifth time I didn’t go to school in this term. It’s a bittersweet thing to do because, on the one hand, I hate going to school so being able to skip it for a day or two is paradise. But on the other hand, it would mean the building up of things to learn which I will have to eventually do anyway, on top of the on going things that are being issued mercilessly.
I have officially turned sixteen. It’s not as thrilling a feeling as I thought it would be. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get to celebrate my birthday this year. My parents decided not to get a cake because they didn’t see the point in it. To be honest, I didn’t mind either since I don’t really like cakes and don’t enjoy people singing happy birthday songs for me, which by the way, makes me feel awkward because I don’t know how to react in such situations. As some form of compensation, I was handed a measly $50 to spend on my own free will. I know, I sound like a spoilt brat, but even my mom’s friend gave me $50, I guess I sort of expected my parents to give more, especially since they were not even getting me a cake.
But oh well, at least now I have a $100 to spend during the holidays, that is if I do have the time to go out. I believe I would be able to find time, seeing as the volleyball camp is only taking up the first three days of the holidays. But damn, that would mean that Aaron and I would be missing out on the EDS camp which coincidentally enough, falls on the same three days.
I better get on to finish studying chemistry and physics, hopefully I will be able to take the bleeding tests tomorrow and get them over and done with.
farcical-rants - 4:02 pm - Wednesday, March 08, 2006
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Aftermath
A lot of people seem to know about what has happened. I think its weird, for me. I find it hard to be solemn around people, because I’m usually solemn when I’m on my own. I think I could slap myself sometimes. Over there trying to be as cheerful about things as possible, and I end up making stupid remarks and comments. Argh, I think I will never learn to think before I talk. But oh well, what’s done is done, what’s said is said. Better watch my tongue next time.
And yet, I was thinking to myself, even though it’s a sensitive topic to mention suicide now, won’t it be quite painful to constantly be touchy about it and keep reminding ourselves of what has happened. I guess the wound is still raw and maybe it will take some time to heal. Of course, petty people out there who hold it against me just because of a slip of the tongue should just go away and leave me alone. It’s no big mystery who the anonymous is. At least not to me, but whatever, I don’t really care? There was no ill intention in whatever I say, and sometimes people can be over obsessed with things and get carried away. Than again, no ones perfect, so I’d better let this go before it blows up.
Threading on thin ice or egg shells is never a good thing, especially when it comes to someone who wields so must passion for hating people and condemning them without even reflecting about themselves in the first place. Haha, that sounds like me too. Argh, I’m hypocritical in this sense lah. I guess I have learnt to be less sensitive and to be honest; I don’t really give a hoot to what that person thinks. Seriously, I’m a bitch, so deal with it. If you can’t, than that’s too bad. I’m not going to bother myself by trying to please you or something. I think I can survive in this world with one less pain in the neck. You don’t like people, well newsflash, not everyone loves you either.
To those out there who are still grieving about this, don’t think too much about it. It doesn’t help to keep reminding others of what happened too. I don’t really know what to say, except to be strong? Ok, easier said than done. But yah, like I said, I’m not good with advices. Take it easy I suppose.
farcical-rants - 5:35 pm - Monday, March 06, 2006
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Just to get my mind off things
(x)been in love [who hasn’t?]
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted [when I was young. And the stupid thing was only ten cents. Haha.]
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) skipped school [with MC. Lol. But wasn’t really sick.]
( ) seen someone die [Never a good thing]
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
( ) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake/tremor
( ) been through a hurricane
( ) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way I look [I’m narcissistic]
( ) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned my heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country [Woodlands counts right?]
(x) swum in the ocean
( ) felt like dying
( ) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
(x) crashed a party(x) gone roller-skating
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night [Chalets loh]
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts [ironic yes?]
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on
( ) been told you're hot by a complete stranger [-.-]
( ) broken a bone [I’m not hazardous]
(x) been easily amused [always am]
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test [sheepishly grins]
( ) cheated on a lover
(x) have a Britney Spears CD [ashamed]
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend
( ) sun tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain
farcical-rants - 7:08 pm - Sunday, March 05, 2006
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Remember
Fragile. That’s one word to describe life. It came to me as a shock, it did take a while for it to sink it, and soon after, sadness over shadowed the initial shock. Why? Does anyone really know? I pray quietly that everyone will have peace of mind soon. We can’t really tell when something is going to happen, can we? I guess this is like a first for me. Something seems permanently wrong with my tear ducts, sadness engulfs me, and yet, even when I feel the emotions building up inside, nothing seem to be able to come out.
It seems like nothing big now, but I’m already grieving. What will the impacts be later when I actually pay my last respects? It feels quite weird talking about it; however, I find comfort in my blog because it allows me to pen my thoughts down without having to face the awkwardness of talking to someone else about it. I have a trouble with expressing myself at times yes? No ones perfect you know.
Remember. Remember him for his cheerfulness during training. Remember him for his undying spirit in cheering us on from the sidelines. Remember his enthusiasm to learn even when in new surroundings and completely out of his comfort zone. Remember his laughter and smiles that he shares with everybody, never a moment of frown from him. And yet, behind all this happy expressions, we seem to be only brushing the surface of things. Much deeper, there seems to be a troubled soul. No one really saw this coming; no one seemed to sense anything wrong.
This has taught me a rather valuable lesson. Actually, it has taught me two valuable lessons. Life is fragile, so cherish it. Even amongst all the bitching that I do on my blog and while conversing with people, I should take a step back once in a while to just tell myself how great life actually is. We shouldn’t take it for granted, cause once it’s gone, it will never come back. Another lesson would be not to take my friends for granted. Treasure all my close friends and pay extra attention if you even sense the slightest change in mood of the person. You never know when a great advice might actually do a lot of good.
Just returned home. It felt so weird just looking at him and not hearing the cheerful voice that he always has when around people. At least he looks peaceful and untroubled. We sat around solemnly, organizing our thoughts or just grieving. It is still taking some time for things to sink in. I have yet to come to terms with what has happened. Acknowledging what happened and accepting it are two very different things. I guess it will take some time.
My father bought the 晚报. It turns out that he decided to end his life by jumping. The death wasn’t immediate. Rather he suffered from a broken left leg and severe internal injuries. It took place around 8.30 in the evening and he was proclaimed dead at around 10.00 pm. The pain he must have endured during the last two hours. Apparently he was wearing VJC uniform and was carrying his school bag. The newspaper also stated that he left a note for his parents. The content we know nothing about. I guess its better this way. As what was said, we would rather not know the reason behind his action, because then, fingers would be pointed and there would be people to be blamed or be plagued by it.
We shall send him off on his final journey tomorrow. What we can do now would be to stay strong together and not let any other things get in the way. Hopefully, with time, the family will be able to let go and move on, at the same time, not forgetting what a wonderful person their son was. it breaks my heart to just see his grandmother, mother and father cry. It was so hard to listen to his father go on about how proud he was that his son had so many friends to come and pay their respects. And proud he should be. With the passing off of my last regards tomorrow, I hope he can find peace with himself.
Always lovingly remembered.
Update
Just returned from the cremation and I guess what the father said is true. We should just look ahead in the present and the future because sometimes, looking back is just too hard. I’m not sure if he knows it, but a lot of people have been impacted with what has happened. The return of DHS students and teachers, the presence of VJC students and teachers and all his other friends and relatives, there to bid him the last farewell. I could only just imagine what his parents must be feeling now. They weren’t present at the cremation because it is a religious belief that those who can’t hold back their tears should not be present so as to allow him to have a smooth journey ahead.
Is it natural to not cry? I don’t know why, but I didn’t cry, even when I went up to pay my respects. Am I that inhumane? I guess not, since I felt sad, I probably just have a problem expressing myself.
As I sit soberly, thinking, let us all say a silent prayer for him.
farcical-rants - 10:15 am - Saturday, March 04, 2006
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Attempting to be mature about things
The fortress rises once again, the draw bridge drawn back, the moat widens. Maturity versus immaturity, phasing in and out of both. Momentary moment or long term issue, who knows?
My thumb is swollen once more, but by now, I ought to have gotten used to thumb swelling from the past few months of training. I become conscious of the fact that I pretty much have to struggle to find ways of improving myself and critically analyze what is it that is wrong with what I’m doing because there isn’t much help around to point out the mistakes. But I guess I can be glad when I notice my mistakes by myself, feeling some false sense of independence or something. It’s probably what comes when there is lack of a coach. I don’t really consider Mr. Chew as a coach, but more of a teacher in charge even though he takes on both roles.
After today, I can heave a temporary sigh of relief because all the ugly homework that hung over my head has been dealt with, whether morally or immorally dealt with isn’t the issue here. Haha. Of course, there is the cursed week ahead that seems to rear its ugly head every end of a term. It’s the week where all the test and assignments that are due falls in. It is also the week where all the assignments, essays, projects and tasks are issued to torture us over the supposed one week break. I never really felt that the holidays were a break, but more of a self study period in which we have to deal with all the homework under the illusion that we are actually taking time off from school and enjoying a breather.
I decided that I really detest, hate, abhor, loathe, despise, abominate and dislike chemistry. It is the science, no subject, that I freaking hate the most. I hate it so much that I dislike it even more than mathematics and higher mother tongue put together. I hate chemistry with a vengeance. The worse thing is that if I ever want to take a science combination when I get to J1 next year, chemistry is like the compulsory subject. There is no physics and biology combination. It’s either biology cum chemistry or physics cum chemistry. That totally sucks. I can’t even express enough on how much that sucks.
There was full day off yesterday, however we had training so we actually left school near 12 in the afternoon. Third period is so annoying. Give me a blade after third period p.e and I would just go around stabbing everyone that I see whom I cannot stand.
Had lunch at orchard which I have not visited for a really long time. The place was crawling with VJC people; I think I saw like at least 50 VJC students there. It was quite fun just to walk around heeren and cineleisure, looking at stuff and basically just window shopping. Of course, our legs got tired and we went to Mac Donalds at takashimaya to sit down, rest and gossip. Usually, gossip would be the thing that we don’t really do; it would be more engaging in discussions. However, today, we were literally gossiping or maybe even bitching. Haha.
With all the remedials over and done with, I enjoy quite a lot of free time on this particular Friday, especially since CT period was pushed to earlier in the morning. We had to go to school today despite the fact that there were only IPs who were having lessons. Our lunch took quite long to come and they had to be ordered because Ms Low thought that only the Wanton Mee stall was open. However, if I knew that the Noodles and Carrot Cake stall was open, I wouldn’t have ordered food to be delivered to school. In the end, the Char Siew Rice wasn’t that bad. So I guess I’m being an empty vessel here, complaining about something that wasn’t such a big deal in the end.
Pray that I will survive through next week okay? I hope I can manage to just scrape through the week without suffering from any nervous breakdown or sleep deficiency etc.
farcical-rants - 9:32 pm - Friday, March 03, 2006
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Is love really complicated ?
Excuse me as I begin the entry with shameless reminder. Check your calendars people, guess what day it is next tuesday! Haha.
I feel so random and once again, I am mis-using my blog to kill sometime so that I won’t have to start on the dreaded physics assignment, language arts task 3 and language arts essential question for post modernism and/or feminism.
I have changed my blog template, again. But aside from stating the obvious, I must also add that this template isn’t original. I feel obliged to credit Nicole because it was she who sent me her own html for me to use and edit. I prefer her template because it is much more simple and convenient to maintain. So for those of you out there who visit both her and my blog and are thinking, these two templates are similar, it’s because they are! Haha. I have no idea where my inspiration for the picture came from; it was probably some random collage of weird images that popped into my mind when I was searching around for pictures to use to create a template. It looks weird in a nice way, doesn’t it? Haha.
I was reading my junior’s blog, no names shall be mentioned, and it dawned upon me how many teenagers life are actually plagued by love. I feel so sad for those who are currently in love but are stuck in limbo either because of an unwilling party or because of uncertainties that arise when you start to question if you really should get into a relationship with the person or not. It seems like a rather mind boggling phenomenon that takes prestige over a person’s thoughts for the next few days/weeks/months. Being really bad with the advice, I guess as a friend and a senior, all I can do is to lend my support. I don’t really fancy giving advice because more often than not, they have a higher chance of creating a negative effect.
I often question why is love such a complicated process. As once said by a friend of mine, when in love, you feel for the person without reason to support why you love him or her. Or to better phrase it, it basically means that when you are in love, there is no explanation on why you love that person. If you love someone, you just love someone damn it! That, by definition itself, seems simple enough yes? I don’t really get why people out there are going on and on about how love is a cruel thing and that we should all abstain from it and stay spinsters or bachelors for the rest of lives, enjoying the solitary lives that we have sculptured for ourselves. Life is about risk no? I believe that love is the same. You won’t truly know if you love someone and vice versa if you don’t give it a damn bloody shot!
However, even though I believe that love itself is simple, the whole process of getting into a relationship may be more complicated. Relationships seem to be the hottest must have for a really long time. People tend to fear falling in love again after a horrible break up. Of course, I am speaking from my point of view, and personally, I have never suffered a tragic breakup before, unlike those that people so often hear about. But personally, I feel that when experiencing a horrible breakup, it would mean that there wasn’t even a relationship to begin with. For me, a relationship should be something in which both parties are to be as transparent as possible. Communication is the key! Haha. With this plain logic in mind, it would thus clearly show whether or not you are in a relationship that will last or not. It will thus also not come as such big a blow when one party suggests for a break up, because the latter would probably see it coming. Depression is something that will still be felt, but at least there will be less suicidal cases or melodrama for the world to see. Of course, there are always exceptional cases around, but I will leave them to deal with it on their own yes.
By the way, love isn’t obsession. When in love, I believe there is the ability to draw a fine line between relationships and other issues of life that occurs around you. Your parents are in love, do they place importance on their own relationship over you? There is mutual understanding in love, and it definitely doesn’t mean devoting your 24/7 to someone. You can still go out with your friends and love someone. You can still tell your partner that you want to spend some time doing things with your peers and still love him/her. It doesn’t mean that when in love, it is a given that you have to sacrifice everything for your partner. I don’t believe people in a relationship circle their lives solely around their partners and their partners alone. There may be some who do, but who are we to stereotype.
I’m not trying to be a shrink here or anything, but just simply voicing my opinion about all these teenage angst around us nowadays. If it was not meant to be, than it wasn’t meant to be. Let it go, move on! What would be sadder than seeing someone breakup would be the inability of the person to recover from the fall and move on.
farcical-rants - 7:30 pm - Wednesday, March 01, 2006
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